Looking Forward

This morning I spent some time rereading my blog postings for the past couple of years. I was reminded of how faithful God ALWAYS is despite how circumstances might look at the time. It was a reminder that I desperately needed as we inch closer to a new season in our lives. 

We are six weeks, to the day, away from our next move. I have honestly loved our time here in Virginia Beach. The kids have made some wonderful close friends, received beneficial therapy, participated in a great co-op, and developed a love for the ocean. It's been a rejuvenating year and a half reconnecting as a family following Jeremy's year long deployment. 

Looking forward I can very quickly become overwhelmed with all of the things that are completely out of my control.  It's not that I dread another move, because I honestly enjoy the opportunity to experience living in so many different places, exploring a new area, arranging a new house, and meeting new friends.  It's that I, by nature, am a planner, and so far with this move there is so very little that I can plan. That stresses me out!!  

Little by little and time after time God is reminding me to trust Him. He DOES have a plan, and it's not just any old plan that may or may not work. God has the PERFECT PLAN for this next season of our lives. He knows exactly where we will live, what we will do, and how long this next season will last.....all waiting for His perfect timing to be revealed to us. He never fails us and loves us more than we could ever imagine.  

Trusting God with the details and waiting for His perfect timing does not come naturally to me. I often joke that is the reason God called us to the Army. What better place to teach me that I am not in control!!  So over the next few months if you see me stressing, help remind me to let go because God has it all under control. 

The Perfect Year?

I have to admit, as I look forward into 2013 it makes my perfectionist/all or nothing little heart do somersaults!  In my mind, 2013 lines up to be the perfect year in all areas of my life.

1.  We should be living in the same house all year long!
2.  My husband is home, and we are complete as a  family that has been restored!
3.  We live in a place where the kids are receiving great services for their special needs.
5.  We have some great military ministry opportunities before us.
4.  We live in a vacation spot with the beautiful ocean and beach within minutes of our home.
5.  We have a strong financial budget in place.
6.  We are on our way to being a healthier family with the significant lifestyle changes  we have begun to make and will continue to be making.
7.  We have a good military home-school co-op group that has provided some wonderful friendships for myself and the kids.

In all of my optimism I am reminded of James 4:14 " Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (NIV)  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  The problem for me is that I am a perfectionist in the sense that if everything does not fall into place or go according to my plan than I see it all as loss.  I'm an all or nothing kind of girl which often causes me to lose sight of the bigger plan or purpose.  I need to refocus, and there is no better place to do that than in God's Word!

Matthew 6:19-20 instructs me to "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:"

Colossians 3:2 tells me  "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." 

Proverbs 3:4-5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,   and he will make your paths straight.

Jeremiah 29:11 promises me " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I Thessalonians 5:17-19  "Pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.   Do not quench the Spirit."

I am excited for 2013, but not because it will be the "Perfect Year", in all reality it may not be.   I am excited though to DAILY focus my eyes on things above, trusting God's plans for my life that they are good and will give me hope, and praying continually regardless of the circumstances!  

" I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.   Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:16-21 (NIV)

Happy New Year!!

Why We Homeschool

This week we began our 5th year of homeschooling!  I think about how scared I was when we first began.  I had never even dreamed that I would be "one of those moms", but God had another plan. 

We had just finished Katelyn's kindergarten year in public school where she struggled academically, and we were told that she would need to repeat kindergarten.  During this same time frame Cameron was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Delay, NOS which is on the autism spectrum. It was a  hard year, and we felt at a loss as to what to do. We sought expert advice, talked with school counselors, and doctors, finding very few answers.  We finally made the decision that for the next school year, even though he was age appropriate for kindergarten, Cameron would benefit more to spend an extra year in the special needs behavioral program he was currently attending.  Jeremy was finishing up his Master's degree and would simultaneously school Katelyn at home preparing her for first grade in public school. I would continue to work outside of the home. 

In August, right before the school year started, God began unfolding his plans and opening doors we had no idea were even there!  Jeremy was offered a full time job (AGR) National Guard job where he would be making a salary equal to what he had previously been making plus what I was making as a manager of a local bank.  So, instead of Jeremy teaching Katelyn at home, I was able to leave my full time job and become a stay at home Mom!  I was thrilled as God was granting the desires of my heart.

Our first year of homeschooling went great!!  We used the ABEKA homeschool videos, and Katelyn thrived with the one on one teaching.  Cameron made good progress in the behavioral program, and Katelyn was diagnosed with ADHD.  Jeremy graduated with his master's degree, received his commission in the United States Army as a Chaplain, and in April we moved to our first active duty assignment, Ft. Sill, Oklahoma.

We enrolled the kids for the next school year, Cameron in kindergarten and Katelyn in 1st grade, in the local public school.  I had very little peace about this decision, but homeschooling long term was not the plan.  We were not "one of those" families.  The school year began, I tearfully loaded the kids on the school bus that first day, and became very active volunteering at the school several days a week.  The kids would come home from school late in the afternoon and have notes and homework from their teachers of things I needed to work on with the kids.  So after spending their day at school we would then spend the evening at home re-teaching the day's work with lots of tears while all of the neighborhood kids played outside.  I had meetings after meetings with the teachers and special education advisers all of which who blew off my concerns reassuring me that the kids were doing fine.  Listening to the counsel of the "experts" I began to adjust to our new normal, trusting that the kids were in fact doing fine.  

October arrived, and it was time for the parent/teacher conferences.  I arrived at the conferences expecting to hear great progress reports.   The first conference was with Katelyn's teacher.  She reported that Katelyn was struggling, but the teacher was confident that she would be okay.  We just needed to work harder with her at home in the evenings.  I felt discouraged as I entered Cameron's classroom, but was optimistic as to what the teacher would say......after all I had been assured earlier in the year that he was doing fine!  Instead the teacher said "Cameron WILL fail this year, and THEN we will reassess his educational needs".  WHAT??  I was done.  Childhood was not meant to be this way.  My kids COULD learn, and I was not going to give up on them.  I spent the next few days tearfully in prayer, discussing with Jeremy, and seeking advice from teacher friends and the one homeschooling family that we knew.  God had all ready impressed upon our hearts what we were suppose to do, but I was terrified to take that step.  What if I failed???  The next week we withdrew the kids from public school.  It was not a very popular decision among the "experts", and I was strongly encouraged to reconsider my decision.  We researched, ordered curriculum, and began again our homeschooling journey trusting God to guide us.

Now, many years later, I still believe that we did and are doing what is right for our children.  Homeschooling is not the easy answer but the right answer for our family.  We work hard, have fun, and the kids ARE learning.  We are able to provide them consistency in their education regardless of moving every other year, a curriculum that is chosen for their own specific learning style and pace, and have the flexibility to spend quality time as a family traveling and exploring not being tied to the traditional school year.  Will we homeschool through high school?  I believe so, but we will take each year as it comes seeking God's direction.  As for now, we are excitedly embarking on our fifth year and are looking forward to and expecting a great year!

Overwhelmed

I have felt overwhelmed most of this past year.  While this may sound negative it really has been a blessing.  I have learned to trust God on a whole new level, to depend on His strength, and to wait on His timing.  I cannot count the times that someone has said to me "I could never do it".  Honestly a year ago I felt the same way, and even now looking back I STILL feel that way!   I have missed my Man so much it has made my heart hurt, I have been a single parent, and have had days filled with tears.  Yet here we are almost a year later and I am overwhelmed by His love for me.  He truly is all sufficient!  We are still waiting on His perfect timing to make our family whole once again, but we know that even in this we are not alone.  This song sums it up perfectly!  Click to listen Never Once Did We Ever Walk Alone

The Life I Planned

This past week has brought with it many challenges.  They were all fairly minor issues/challenges in the whole scheme of things, but as one piled on top of another and another and another my eyes were pulled away from the One who is really in control and I fell apart.  The final straw was yesterday when I finally made it to the Department of Motor Vehicle after dealing with inspection issues and repairs the prior few days.  I had done my research well ahead of time, and found that Virginia had an unreal list of requirements to obtain tags.  I carefully collected each item they said I needed.  I had my stack of paperwork. I was prepared and looking forward to putting this behind me!  I waited my turn in line, and happily gave my stack of papers to the clerk when it was my turn.  Within seconds she very matter a factly told me that they would not procede without my husband's ID.  WHAT??  I had studied up for this, I knew what I was doing, I had my Power of Attorney, I had everthing they said I would need, I was prepared!!  I spent the next 20 minutes or so trying to convince the clerk, the supervisor, and the next supervisor that they were all very sadly mistaken.....surely if they understood my circumstances, if they reread their own rules.....they could not do this to me!!  They were very lacking in their empathy skills, and I ended back up in my van, still with Oklahoma tags that would expire in just 1 short week.....just a few days before R&R.  I sat in my van sobbing in despair.

Now almost 24 hours later I'm still not sure how this will all turn out.  I still have tags that are about to expire which will keep me from being able to enter the military installation where my home is, but in the stillness and quietness of this Saturday I can hear God speaking to me in that still small voice  reminding me that I often repsond to Him in the same way I repsonded to the employees at the DMV.  I research, I plan, and prepare for the life that I have planned and fall apart when life isn't quite what I expected.  God's reponse to me is found in Isaiah 55:8-13.

 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith Jehovah. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, and giveth seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing; and all the trees of the fields shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir-tree; and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle-tree: and it shall be to Jehovah for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."

I am SO thankful for the reminder that I am not in charge.  What a mess I would make!  I serve a God who sees the beginning and the end and orchestrates my life in a way that "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him. {1 Corinthians 2:9} 

 For my friends who are hurting so deeply right now I pray you are able to find hope in these verses.  My  heart aches for you.  The following link is to a beautiful poem.  The Life I Planned by Beth Moore 

Almost 1/2 way

Wow.  It is hard to believe it is the middle of August all ready.  I do have to say that I am very pleased about this.  You see this means that in less than 7 weeks we will have made it to the 1/2 way point of the deployment!  Which also means I will be seeing my Hubby very soon for R&R.  I cannot put into words how excited I am. (btw....the kids do not know about R&R yet...shhhhh!)

The kids and I started our new school year a few weeks ago.  So far it is going very well.   We have had new homeschooling neighbors move in,  found a co-op to participate in, and piano lessons starting soon.  It is shaping up to be a very busy and exciting school year!

Our biggest immediate news is our trip to visit family and friends this week!  This will be the kids first time to fly on an airplane, and my first time to fly "alone".  We are all very excited!!  I kind of impulsively decided to take this trip, and God has really taken care of all the details from the airline lowering ticket prices, having someone to take care of our dog Brandi, and medication issues with the kids.  God is constantly reminding me that I am not forgotten, and He has it all under control even when I cannot see. (Luke 12:6-7 & Psalm 139)   I cannot wait to visit with everyone!  I'm sure I will have some fun and interesting things to blog in the coming weeks!

Week in Review

This past week has been pretty low key for the kids and I compared to our usual nonstop schedule.  We tried out the new babysitter on Monday.  The kids loved her and are looking forward to next time.  I enjoyed getting out for a few hours even if it was to the dentist! 

The kids had their eye appointments and a check-up with their pediatrician.  The optometrist confirmed what Cameron's OT from Oklahoma had said about him needing vision therapy.  He basically has no control over his eyes (this is very apparent to anyone who has tried to take a picture of him).  The dr went on to explain how much this problem affects Cameron's everyday living.  He had a lense for me to look through to show me how Cameron sees.  I was shocked!  Everything was moving, blury, and unstable.  Cameron has never known anything different so he adapts very well, but many of his "issues" can be attributed to his vision.  So anyways...hopefully before too long he will be beginning vision therapy.  I am very excited and hopeful that this will make a big difference for him.  Kate will most likely be doing some vision therapy as well to help with her reading comprehension.  Dr.Guhl seems great and we look forward to working with him.

The biggest event of our week was my decision for the kids and I to make a trip to Springfield in August.  I had been watching airfares and was pretty disappointed that they had gone up.  I contemplated making the 19 hour drive (uhg!).  Just when I had about given up on the idea AirTran lowered their rates again.  What a blessing!!  I was so excited!!  So we have our flights booked, and are excited to spend time visiting with friends and family.  This will be the kids first time to fly.  It should be quite the fun experience!

We are now 9 weeks out from R&R, and the coutdown has begun!  We have not told the kids, and I am nearly bursting with excitement!! :~)